31 January, 2010
09:39 AM - The bike ride begins. Right now, we are just outside of the city of Nah Trang, Vietnam. We've stopped for a quick look at the sites, pointed out by our guide.
09:40AM - Jessica and I ponder how we are going to manage 25km on a bike one-way, while Clinton chuckles to himself.
09:42AM - Just enough time for one more photo opportunity before we hop onto our bikes and speed away.
09:50AM - Our first short pit-stop is a pretty beach. We will be cycling along the coast to a waterfall about 25km away. The waterfall is inland, in a mountainous and very secluded area.
10:15AM - You can see the fear in Jess' face, but I'm trying to be very casual and undaunted by the impossible task ahead. I haven't been on a bike in so long that I have almost forgotten how to cycle. In addition, this bike is a very old, very cheap piece of junk. My ass and palms hurt already. My ass hurts because the seat has no padding, and my palms hurt because I am holding on to the handlebars for dear life.
10:26AM - We've been cycling for just under an hour and have come to a massive hill. Jessica and I feel a bit scared, but Clinton is still chuckling to himself. Jessica and I pant and heave up the hill, Clinton laughs all the way up to the top.
10:36AM - We've made it up to the top of the hill in one piece. But I must take a break.
I decide it's time for some sugar cane juice, a local delicacy sold here in bags like this with a straw.
10:39AM - I ask where I can find a toilet and am told that the toilet is "all around." Hmmm. I don't think the scenery is that bad.
10:40AM - Jessica looks for an escape route, while Clinton soaks up the scenery.
10:42AM - After heeding the call of nature, we get on our bikes and peddle away. (Excuse the pun.)
11:08AM - We finally reach the bottom of a massive mountain. We are in a coastal village area now, and the roads are a lot straighter.
11:09AM - I ask our guide how much further we have to cycle. Every time I have asked him this question so far, he has responded, "It's just around the corner." These corners seem awfully long and impossible to reach. Also, it feels like I have already cycled 15km! I don't even want to know how many kilometers I really have cycled, as it's definitely nowhere near that yet.
11:45AM - The coastal town is behind us, the sun is beating down on our shoulders and we are on a stretch of road leading inland. I am reverently hoping the waterfall is really just around the corner this time, unfortunately, there are no corners in sight.
12:05AM - We make a pit stop at this shack / house / convenience store. I buy a weird aloe fruit drink, some water and we use the restrooms. Jessica and I are cursing our bikes, while the guide is cursing the fact that we have to stop every five seconds.
12:18PM - Finally, we turn down a dirt road. "This is it!" I think to myself. "We are close!" The sandy, pebbly road is very difficult for Jess and I to cycle on. We lose Clinton and our guide and take a long, leisurely walk up towards the mountains instead, pushing our bikes. There are just too many damn cows, children, chickens, dogs and potholes in this road. My ass is very thankful that I am walking now.
12:45PM - Along the way, we stop to enjoy the sites. The sites being beautiful nature, rice paddies...
..birds, cows, palm trees...
.. and Vietnamese children.
1:28PM - Miraculously, after four hours of cycling, we arrive at the river at the base of the waterfall. Jessica and I are sure that we have just cycled at least 30km. Even Clinton agrees.
1:30PM - It is remarkably beautiful, and we are remarkably hungry. However, we are only going to have lunch on the way back. My ass is killing me, my palms are numb and my stomach refuses to wait that long. I order a roasted chicken and some sodas from some local ladies. I don't care how much it costs, but am told it will take about 40 minutes.
1:32PM - After a short walk up, we reach the good part. Jess rips her shoes off, plonks down and zaps me as I take a photo of her.
I am utterly exhausted and sweating like a pig. I look and feel like crap.
Clinton is unsympathetic. I secretly want to punch him. I make plans to attach my bike to his somehow, to make a tandem bicycle where he does all the work and we both get back in record time.
There are stairs leading to three waterfalls, labelled on rocks as Ho1, Ho2 and Ho3.
11:33PM - They are always one step ahead. This is the view I have become way too accustomed to seeing - Clinton and the tour guide, meters away. Somehow, always just out of reach. How I loathe the two of them. ;)
1:34PM - The view from the top waterfall, however, is stunning and I feel proud of myself for having gotten this far. I relish in the fact that I am relaxing at a beautiful Vietnamese waterfall.
Clinton, Jess and I take a break and swim in the water. It is very, very cold but it feels very, very good.
There were a few other people here, but they have come in a van. Lazy bastards. I wonder if they have space for Jess and I..?
1:55PM - Clinton and I climb to Ho3 to check out the view.
2:07PM - It's beautiful. We soak up the beauty of our surroundings. I do not want to punch him any more, but I do still want to attach my bike to his. Or maybe he can use me as a backpack? I wonder how much a taxi back to Na Trang would cost, and whether I would find one that my bike will fit into.
2:59PM - Our chicken and sodas finally arrives. Everyone digs in, except for Clinton, who is a vegetarian. Despite the fact that the chicken's neck is still attached, and it freaks me out, this is the best picnic I've ever had, in the most amazing setting. Clinton tells me he used to eat chicken necks. This freaks me out even more.
3:34PM - With full stomachs and our heads in the clouds, we head back down the mountain to where our crappy bikes are waiting for us in the dust.
3:34PM - I try to put on a brave face but it's difficult.
3:36PM - I try a smile. But even so, I still look and feel like crap. I can already feel the hard seat against my ass, and the rough handlebars rubbing against my tender palms.
5:10PM - After another hour and a half of cycling, we arrive at the coastal town once more, where we can finally tuck into a delicious seafood lunch.
5:11PM - Jessica is still hating her life and zapping people. Clinton this time.
Meanwhile, our tour guide is still cursing how slow and unfit we are.
5:22PM - The meal is delicious, and it's over too quickly. Jessica and I are dreading it, but we all prepare to get back on to our bikes. Jess shoves her iPod headphones into her ears to drown out the throbbing in her ears and I stare at my bike with unfathomable hatred. At this point, my ass just hurts so much it wants to detach itself from my wretched body. Whenever I touch anything, my palms scream out in pain. We don't know it just yet, but Jess and I are thinking the same thought: "Find a taxi that can load a bike."
5:46PM - The dreaded uphill slog begins. Our gears are so messed up that Jess and I push our bikes up the hills instead. Our tour guide tries to be helpful, but in the end he gives up and joins Clinton miles and miles and miles ahead.
6:08PM - I don't even notice my surroundings anymore.
I have gone to the happy place in my mind. I have gone insane.
07:45PM - Somehow, by some incredible luck, we arrive back on the outskirts of Na Trang city in one piece. Jess and I vow to never set foot on a bike. I hold on to Clinton for dear life. A part of me is proud that I managed to cycle over 60km in a day, but most of me just wants to sleep for a week. And I am incredibly happy that this epic bike ride is, finally, over.
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